Fast Talk: Growing Older with Bipolar
Whether I like it or not, I’m growing older and I’m growing older with bipolar. And with my wellness plan intact, I can only think of the possibilities!
By Julie A. Fast
bphope.com, February 2016
My body is finite. It’s getting older, and at age 50 I have no choice but to face the reality of my aging body along with my aging mind. I’m not ashamed of getting older. But I am well aware that I need to be more appreciative of, and careful with, my life and body—starting now.
My face didn’t show any wrinkles until I was in my late 40s. It’s genetic, and the result of having a mom who was emphatic about sunscreen. I’ve always looked much, much younger than I am. But last year, time caught up with me and I suddenly started looking my age. For the first time in my life, I found myself staring at my reflection in the mirror, scrutinizing the lines around my mouth and eyes, and almost--almost— falling into the Hollywood-style pit of wanting and needing to look younger.
I knew life had caught up with my face when a participant in one of my workshops looked at my business card and said, “Why do you have a picture of your daughter on your card?” I wanted to say, “What? That picture is only a few years old! How could you say something like that to me?” Then I realized that anyone who has such poor social skills deserves my pity more than my outrage. I also asked myself why it hurt so much. Did I really expect aging to pass me by?
Aging gracefully requires a conscious decision to face reality and then give the finger to a world that says older people are not beautiful. With bipolar disorder, I know that burdening my already fragile mind with the added pressure of trying to look younger would be just too much, a truly slippery slope that would probably end up with my lips going halfway across my face like the Joker in Batman!
Instead, when I see an older woman looking back at me from my mirror, I choose to look directly at her instead of turning away. I don’t avoid her; I embrace her. Getting older—especially when you have bipolar—sure beats the alternative.
I’m lucky to have parents who personify the positive rewards of lifelong exercise and healthy eating. My father ran half marathons throughout his sixties. My mother gardens up to five hours a day in the summer, and she still looks gorgeous. She started medication for her depression at age 61, and I know this has been an important part of helping her age gracefully, as well. Their health reminds me that we don’t have to fall apart as we get older. Their actions remind me that it’s never too late to get healthy. What I do now creates the person I will be at 70.
Growing older is a privilege I don’t want to waste. I want to make sure I treasure my time here, and my loved ones.
I do worry about how getting older will interact with my bipolar, largely because living longer means I will outlive people I love, and I don’t know how I will handle that. I’m concerned about how my mother’s aging—she’s my biggest supporter—will impact my balance and emotional stability. But you know what? I’ve spent the past 20 years building skills to manage my bipolar and I know they will get me through the future.
Growing older is a privilege I don’t want to waste. I want to make sure I treasure my time here, and my loved ones.
Last week my mother gave me a ride to a speaking gig because a pinched nerve in my back from an old bike wreck made it too painful for me to drive. We had two hours in the car together, and as I sat in the passenger seat, I felt so lucky and blessed. After all we’ve been through together, here I am at 50 years old, alive and well, and my 72-year-old mother is still around to take care of me during my time of need.
Time is moving forward even as I write. Whether I like it or not, I’m growing older and I’m growing older with bipolar. As I start this next chapter, I’m embracing my relationships and looking ahead to a promising future. With my wellness plan intact, I can only think of the possibilities! I can still make the most of this life—and so can you.
Bring it on!
Julie
Julie A. Fast is the bestselling author of Loving Someone with Bipolar, Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder and Get it Done When You’re Depressed. She is an award winning columnist for bp Magazine ("Fast Talk") and has one of the top bipolar disorder blogs on the internet. Julie is the bipolar disorder management specialist on the Oprah and Dr. Oz website www.ShareCare.com. She was the original consultant for Claire Danes on Homeland. Julie is not only a leading expert on helping those affected by bipolar disorder and depression, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1995 and successfully (as best she can!) manages the illness with medications and the strategies in her books. Julie knows firsthand about living with and loving someone with bipolar disorder within her own life and helps family members, partners and health care professionals understand and support those with the illness. Julie is a highly in demand family and partner coach, speaker and educator who is passionate about changing the way the world views and manages mood disorders.
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